Arranged Marriages

Umrao

“I had an arranged marriage.” Umrao, my guide, said, on our way to the City Palace in Jaipur. “A distant relative set it up. My parents met and then spent time with my wife and her parents. They determined whether my wife could cook and maintain a household. They had our horoscopes read to see if we were compatible — absolutely essential if you are to have a happy marriage. Being of the same caste was also important. Our families are both members of the Kshatriyas caste. It was only after these criteria were met that my parents agreed to our marriage. I first met my wife on the night of our wedding and was and am very pleased with my parents’ selection. They also arranged the marriages of my four sisters, who are also equally pleased with their selections. I would like to arrange marriages for my son as well because statistics show that arranged marriages seldom end in divorce. But times, of course, are changing. When I got married at least 90% of all marriages performed in this region were arranged marriages. Now that number is down to 75%. My wife, son, and I live with my parents. Because I’m their only son, it’s my responsibility to live with them and take care of them into old age. My sisters and their husbands live with their husbands’ parents out of the same sense of responsibility. It’s our Hindu tradition.”