Marriage, A Man's Perspective

Ali

As we toured the ancient citadel in Khiva, Ali, my 26 year-old Uzbek guide discussed his views on marriage: “When I’m 28 I will get married. It’s the tradition in our family that men should marry when they’re 28. My father and uncles all married when they turned 28. I don’t have time to look for a wife, so my mother will arrange the marriage for me. I have given her three criteria: my wife must be educated, willing to serve my parents for four years, and be a virgin. It’s important that she is also able to prove her virginity. A lot of women lie about these things. It’s not important that I’m a virgin, because I’m a man. I am not the youngest male in my family so eventually my wife and I will live in a place of our own. Later I may want to have more wives, not legal ones, but concubines. We are permitted to have as many concubines as we like. Concubines have no legal rights. They usually stay at home and are there simply to make me happy. Having concubines is a way for me to show off my status, like a new car, or a big house. I see nothing wrong with this tradition. My legal wife will come with a dowry and I will have to pay some amount, but not much.”