Modern Courtship

Ramish

“I met my girl friend in college 3 ½ years ago,” Ramish (my guide) said, between points of interest at the Taj Mahal. “Her father is a doctor. He works for Catholic missionaries in Africa. She goes to church Saturdays and Sundays. I go to the temple twice a week. I pray the Gaytri mantra and to god. I’ve started studying Christianity because I want to better understand my girl friend’s religion. A friend gave me a Bible and told me if I read it, it will change my life. I read the Gospel of John and found it interesting — I liked it. But my girl friend and I don’t speak about these things — we need to — someday. Her mother knows I’m Hindu, but her father doesn’t. I’ve never met or talked to him. I know I must. I’m a little scared. I don’t want to come between her and her father. I love her too much to do that. I hope, if we sit around a table, we can work things out. They are interested in helping people. I’m interested in helping people. I want to start a school for the poor — maybe we have this in common. We want to have children, but we haven’t talked about how we would raise them — what religion or who will care for them — she's finishing med school and wants to work. I live at home with my parents and they're very important to me. They raised me to be a good person. They say I’m free to do as I please, but I'm afraid to displease them. They have certain expectations about marriage, weddings, and that sort of thing. Catholics have different traditions. But my girl friend and I are also of a different generation. When we’re alone we sleep together. We practice birth control. Today, it’s not possible to expect a woman to be a virgin when she marries. Young people are freer now with more opportunities and more choices. There were too many boundaries back then.”